| | pain is selfishness leaving the body
I haven't really heard God the way I thought I was supposed to lately. It's felt like all of a sudden He thinks I don't need to hear His voice or something. It's been hard. I feel almost like I've been dealing with feeling betrayed by God. Like, I've done everything I thought He expected of me and He hasn't lived up to my expectation. But I think I'm at least just beginning to realize that it was only my expectation of Him. Not anything He promised. He only promised joy and fulfillment if I lived the life He asked me too... not popularity, ease, or just downright make-senseness. And it has only been everything He promised, and I forgotten to focus on that. I've forgotten to look forward and hope for where I know deep inside He's taking me. I've found myself looking back, and dwelling on times when I felt more useful, without realizing that the times I'm in right now might actually make me more useful.
As Erwin McManus says, "We think we lose clarity when God doesn't make it easy." In other words, we blame God for not feeling fulfilled, when, usually, we just need to re-focus on what He does do for us.
So I thank God for these moments of hope, and I will try, with James to: "Consider it a great joy, whenever I experience various trials, knowing that the testing of my faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that I may be mature and complete, lacking nothing."
lacking nothing.
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| | Posted 7/17/2008 11:51 PM - 59 Views - 10 eProps - 6 comments
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